Talking Brings It Out

Stop whining.

But seriously, the article brings out a good point--talking does not make me feel any better. Although the article is geared toward women (cf. the "Be more like a boy" section), it can apply to everyone. So, take Dahl's advice, because I don't wanna hear it.

I Guess New Jersey's Good For Something...

It's not only the official dump of New York, but also of space!

I Look Like A Car Crash.

I got this through the e-mail from my sister:

Hey,

This is not to make light of your accident, but I thought you might find this New York Times' story amusing.

Sophia

Lesson for Newark’s Streets: Look Left, Right, Left Again

By KAREEM FAHIM

Published: April 5, 2007

NEWARK, April 2 — In this city where traffic signals are sometimes mockingly called suggestions, scores of children, walking or playing, have been hit by cars over the past few years, many of them within sight of their homes.

Kyle Cross, 13, was struck by a car as he crossed West Kinney Street early one morning last June, sending him to the asphalt with a concussion. Kyle fared better than his sister Maxine, 18, who was hit two years earlier, on Springfield Avenue.

“It knocked her in the air and broke her arm,” said their grandmother Elena Whitaker.

As Dr. David Livingston, the chief of trauma at University Hospital, put it: “We were admitting kids left and right.”

Compared with some children hit by cars, the Crosses were lucky: From 2000 to 2005, the hospital recorded 12 fatalities out of the hundreds of young pedestrians it admitted who were seriously injured by cars.

In 2005, 6,723 pedestrians in New Jersey were struck by cars, a year in which the state ranked eighth in the nation in pedestrian fatalities, according to the National Highway Traffic Safety Agency. That year, 644 of the state’s pedestrian injuries, nearly 10 percent, took place in Newark, according to the state’s Department of Transportation.

But Dr. Livingston said the stream of pedestrians injured by cars energized a local coalition including representatives from the mayor’s office, the Police Department and the schools. “We thought, what could we do to try and fix it?” he said.

Part of the answer was simple: teach Newark’s children to look both ways. Dr. Livingston developed the curriculum based on a model created at the University of Miami. On Friday, in the auditorium of the New Horizons Community Charter School here, he sat in the bleachers and watched the results.

A first-grade class lined up by a make-believe curb made of blue paper tape. A woman holding pictures of a sport utility vehicle hurtled —ambled, rather — down a “road” in front the children. When the menace had passed, the students checked for oncoming “traffic,” and when it was safe, skipped across the road. There Sharon Clancy, a health educator from University Hospital, waited for them with a sticker and a wide smile.

“We love you,” Ms. Clancy told the assembly. “So we never want to see you at the hospital.”

Dr. Livingston and his colleagues who developed the program hope to introduce it to schools throughout Newark and surrounding towns. There is a classroom component, in which children are encouraged to use drawing, spelling and reading to learn about walking safely. And the Miami curriculum was modified in one important way: snow was added to the lesson.

“We believe that children, especially in elementary school ages, don’t understand how big a car is and what it can do to them,” said Dr.Livingston. “Kids have to walk to school, they take public transport. They’re out in the street. That’s real.”

Leigh Ann Von Hagen, a project director at the Alan M. Voorhees Transportation Center at Rutgers University, said that “people think it’s easy to walk around urban areas,” but that streets and sidewalks are often in disrepair.

In cities like Newark, pedestrians negotiating six-lane thoroughfares are vulnerable to cars, especially where crosswalks are faded or nonexistent. Speeding cars are common, pedestrian safety advocates say, and stolen cars move even faster.

Sometimes, there is no telling where the danger will come from. Justin Walcott, a soccer-loving 10-year-old, was being robbed, his mother said, when a Jeep plowed into him and at least two other people on a sidewalk in Irvington in June 2006. Justin lost his right leg just below the knee.

Along with University Hospital’s school program, a $74 million statewide project administered by the Department of Transportation to re-engineer intersections is getting its start in Newark’s downtown and in the Ironbound district.

In addition, the Essex County prosecutor’s office is expecting a state grant that would help send police officers into Newark’s streets to enforce the law against drivers who do not yield to pedestrians.

At New Horizons, Ms. Clancy asked the children questions. “How many of you have known someone who was hit by a car?”

Almost everyone raised their hands.

She also took questions. “No, never run into the street after the ball,” she said. “Let the ball hit the car.”

Had they seen anyone run through a stop sign before?

“My mom did,” a girl in the front row said. “Because she had to go to work.”

Swift For The Quick

"He likewise directed, that every Senator in the great Council of a Nation, after he had delivered his Opinion, and argued in the Defence of it, should be obliged to give his Vote directly contrary; because if that were done, the Result would infallibly terminate in the Good of the Public" (Gulliver's Travels, III. vi. [p. 176]).

Into This Ashtray Life

Violins.

I hope everyone gets the butt of this sick joke.

There Was Only One Catch...

I am back in New Jersey for those of you that knew I went home. I thought I would have posted pictures and stuff, but breaks are made for breaking promises. Sorry to all (or any) of you that wished to see pictures. I might post some later.

I have recently been reading War As I Knew It by General George S. Patton, Jr. It makes for a compelling read given the current military situation in Iraq and Afghanistan. It also serves as an interesting comparison to Catch-22. I am not sure if Heller read War As I Knew It, but Colonel Paul D. Harkins's footnote on page 184-6 so strongly resembles an episode in Catch-22 that I laughed out loud in the airport as I read it. Here it is, in its entirety:

"On or about the fourteenth of December, 1944, General Patton called Chaplain O'Neill, Third Army Chaplain, and myself into his office in Third Headquarters at Nancy. The conversation went something like this:

General Patton: 'Chaplain, I want you to publish a prayer for good weather. I'm tired of these soldiers having to fight mud and floods as well as Germans. See if we can't get God to work on our side.'

Chaplain O'Neill: 'Sir, it's going to take a pretty thick rug for that kind of praying.'

General Patton: 'I don't care if it takes the flying carpet. I want the praying done.'

Chaplain O'Neill: 'Yes, sir. May I say, General, that it usually isn't a customary thing among men of my profession to pray for clear weather to kill fellow men.'

General Patton: 'Chaplain, are you teaching me theology or are you the Chaplain of the Third Army? I want a prayer.'

Chaplain O'Neill: 'Yes, sir.'

Outside, the Chaplain said, 'Whew, that's a tough one! What do you think he wants?'

It was perfectly clear to me. The General wanted a prayer --- he wanted one right now --- and he wanted it published to the Command.

The Army Engineer was called in, and we finally decided that our field topographical company could print the prayer on a small-sized card, making enough copies for distribution to the army.

It being near Christmas, we also decided to ask General Patton to include a Christmas greeting to the troops on the same card with the prayer. The General agreed, wrote a short greeting, and the card was made up, published, and distributed to the troops on the twenty-second of December.

Actually, the prayer was offered in order to bring clear weather for the planned Third Army break-through to the Rhine in the Saarguemines area, then scheduled for December 21.

The Bulge put a crimp in these plans. As it happened, the Third Army had moved north to attack the south flank of the Bulge when the prayer was actually issued.

PRAYER

Almighty and most merciful Father, we humbly beseech Thee, of Thy great goodness, to restrain these immoderate rains with which we have had to contend. Grant us fair weather for Battle. Graciously hearken to us as soldiers who call upon Thee that, armed with Thy power, we may advance from victory to victory, and crush the oppression and wickedness of our enemies, and establish Thy justice among men and nations. Amen.

REVERSE SIDE

To each officer and soldier in the Third United States Army, I wish a Merry Christmas. I have full confidence in your courage, devotion to duty, and skill in battle. We march in our might to complete victory. May God's blessing rest upon each of you on this Christmas Day.

G. S. PATTON, JR.

Lieutenant General

Commanding, Third United States Army

Whether it was the help of the Divine guidance asked for in the prayer or just the normal course of human events, we never knew; at any rate, on the twenty-third, the day after the prayer was issued, the weather cleared and remained perfect for about six days. Enough to allow the Allies to break the backbome of the Von Rundstedt offensive and turn a temporary setback into a crushing defeat for the enemy.

We had moved our advanced Headquarters to Luxembourg at this time to be closer to the battle area. The bulk of the Army Staff, including the Chaplain, was still in nancy. General Patton again called me to his office. He wore a smile from ear to ear. He said, 'God damn! look at the weather. That O'Neill sure did some potent praying. Get him up here. I want to pin a medal on him.'

The Chaplain came up next day. The weather was still clear when we walked into General Patton's office. The General rose, came from behind his desk with hand outstretched and said, 'Chaplain, you're the most popular man in this Headquarters. You sure stand in good with the Lord and soldiers.' The General then pinned a Bronze Star Medal on Chaplain O'Neill.

Everyone offered congratulations and thanks and we got back to the business of killing Germans --- with clear weather for battle. P.D. H."

So there you have it. That screams Catch-22 all over it. Patton's demand for the prayer, the fact the cards weren't issued on time for the planned attack, the very prayer itself, it all is disturbingly comical. I wonder if literary analysis has been done comparing Catch-22 and War As I Knew It. That's something I want to look into, but given that school starts tomorrow, I probably will not have time.

I pray that everyone enjoyed their holidays.