Wake up at 6:00 ante meridian, groggy, tired. Go downstairs to relieve yourself, as you know the upstairs bathroom would soon be occupied by your brother. Find The San Diego Union Tribune, in all its Old English Font-Face glory, and decide to read the paper from Tuesday (September 20, 2005) because that's how behind in life you are. Find an article entitled "History rewarding for UCSD teacher." Become intrigued. Look at the picture of the UCSD teacher, a homely woman surrounded by blurred books. Read the caption, "Emily Thompson, an associate professor at UCSD, is working on a book about the transition from silent films to talkies." Find your interest somewhat dissolve. Read the sub-headline. "She is one of 25 to get $500,000 'genius grant.'" Have your interest pique again. Read the first two paragraphs. Stop in disgust. Here's why: "Just a couple of years ago, I was an out-of-work academic eyeing my bank account wondering when I'd have to give up and become a paralegal [italics mine] or a bartender..." Throw the paper down. Flush.
Go about your day, bitter, groggy, tired.
Realize this will go on your blog.
Return to said bathroom to relieve yourself once again, this time knowing you will read the entire article. Read the rest of the article, fully braced, and become upset... again. "Her first book, 'The Soundscape of Modernity: Architectural Acoustics and the Culture of Listening in America, 1900-1933,' was published in 2002 to critical acclaim..." Hate Emily Thompson for doing nothing and getting $500,000 ("Like most winners, Thompson has no idea how or why she was chosen or who nominated her because the process is secret"). Flush.
Emily may be odd, but she always gets [an] even [$500,000 over a five year period].
Post this on your blog.
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