It's April, Fool!

I haven't played an April Fools trick since that one time in 8th grade. I was lucky enough to not get in trouble. I imagine that one episode of The Simpsons will be on tonight. I am just typing now to do something. To report on my life. A life I have abandoned and imagine that others have abandoned as well.

Tyler Durden said in Fight Club that "our great depression is our lives." That, of course, was before the global war on terror (now known as the Overseas Contingency Operation--where's George Carlin where you need him?) and this recession (which might as well be The Great Depression). Even then, back in 1995, Tyler Durden was right. The fact that the world economy is tanking while we are in the midst of unending wars does not change the our attitude as Americans. Yes, it would be nice for me to get a job teaching dull-minded freshman the importance and beauty of the English language; yes, it would be wonderful if I got into one of the Ph.D. programs for which I applied or if I had gotten that Fulbright Scholarship. It would have been magical had I won that short story contest for "The Waiting Room" and now had a career as an author.

Those things did not happen.

Instead, I took a terrible job selling office supplies to businesses door to door. I quit within a week and I'm struggling to find another job more suitable for me. But my attitude reflects Tyler Durden's statement perfectly. My life is one great depression. I am not alone in this, for that I am sure. I know that the only way out of this is to change myself, to look ahead and keep plugging away without reflecting too much on the results. Still, I cannot help falling into a malaise over my situation, and, by extension, the zeitgeist. My life is certainly not where I wanted to be right now, and my dreams seem to be dashed at every turn. I really do not know what to do. Should I get an M.F.A.? Keep pursuing a Ph.D.? Get published despite not having steady income? I just have no idea what to do now.

I wish my only worry was finding an appropriate April Fools joke.